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BTP138: From the Archive: 7 Ways Tarot Can Help You Create Harmonious Relationships

By August 7, 2018

7 ways tarot can help you create harmonious relationships

There are other times when your relationships become troubled, challenged, stale, or even bitter and resentful. It’s never fun. But you can clear that negative energy in your relationships, to make way for more harmonious and free flowing relationships instead, with a little help from our friends, of course, the Tarot cards.  

By asking the Tarot cards how you can really spot blockages and increase flow in your relationships, you can create those beautiful loving relationships that bring so much joy to your life. In this episode, I’m going to tell you seven ways to use the Tarot to create blossoming, harmonious relationships.

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Brigit: You’re listening to Biddy Tarot Podcast and this is episode 138 from the archive, seven ways Tarot can help you create harmonious relationships. 

Intro: Welcome to the Biddy Tarot Podcast, where you’ll learn how to connect more deeply with your intuition, and live an empowered and enlightened life with the Tarot cards as your guide. Listen as Brigit and her guests share their very best tips and strategies to help you read Tarot with confidence. Now, here’s your host, Brigit Esselmont. 

Brigit: Hello and welcome back to the Biddy Tarot Podcast. Now, today we’re dipping into the Biddy Tarot Podcast archives, to bring you one of my earlier episodes, which is all about how you can use Tarot for your relationships, and specifically how to create more harmonious and fulfilling relationships. Now, I chose this particular episode because it’s a really great way of using Tarot in your every day life. As you might know by now, I don’t think that Tarot is at its fullest potential when we’re just doing a Tarot reading, we’re asking a question, we get an answer, and then it’s done. 

I love to see Tarot being used and integrated in our daily life. I think that’s where you can make things like really powerful, when you’re connecting with intuition, you’re using your cards to go even deeper, and you’re manifesting your goals. I think you’re going to really enjoy this particular episode. Now, this episode is brought to you by my upcoming book, Everyday Tarot: Unlock your Inner Wisdom and Manifest Your Future. And it’s now available for pre-order over at everydaytarot.com. 

Now, Everyday Tarot takes a fresh approach to a timeless art, giving modern soul seekers the tools they need to access the inner wisdom and create an inspired life, using the Tarot cards as their guide. Now, this book is filled with practical exercises, Tarot spreads, general prompts, all these beautiful invitations to help you bring your intuition and Tarot into your everyday life. For making decisions, creating an inspired career, growing fulfilling relationships, and even bringing ritual into your daily routine. 

I think you’re going to really enjoy this book and I’ve written it for people who just want to bring Tarot into their everyday life. Not so much even just Tarot, but just bring more intention, more purpose, more possibility into our everyday lives. You’re going to find all of that inside of this book. To pre-order your copy, go to everydaytarot.com, and just know it’s going to be on book shelves- yippee – in the U.S. from September 18th, 2018. Sounds really good that date, doesn’t it? Without further ado, I’m going to introduce you into this archived podcast episode, and here we go.  

How beautiful is it when you’re surrounded by people you love, and who truly support you no matter what? When your relationships with your friends and family just seem to flow in the most harmonious way. Isn’t that just gorgeous and amazing? It’s one of those amazingly good feelings, you just want to bottle up. I know that I do. But there are other times when your relationships become troubled, challenged, stale, or even bitter and resentful. When it feels like you’re hitting a brick wall, and you’re misunderstanding each other, or you’re harboring a lot of negativity. 

That is the worst feeling ever. The good news is that you can clear that negative energy in your relationships, to make way for more harmonious and free flowing relationships instead, with a little help from our friends, of course, the Tarot cards. By asking the Tarot cards how you can really spot blockages and increase flow in your relationships, you can create those beautiful loving relationships that bring so much joy to your life. Here are seven ways to use the Tarot to create blossoming, harmonious relationships. Let’s get into it. 

Number one is:

1. Be Your Best Self

Every good relationship starts with you. If you go into a relationship feeling bad about yourself or feeling like a sense of emptiness that you hope someone else will feel, then you’re bound to find yourself in challenging and difficult relationships. On the flip side, if you wish to create harmonious relationships, and you’re in a place where you feel amazing and really in connection with your authentic self, then those harmonious relationships will start to come through to you. 

One way of finding out how can you be your best self is simply ask the Tarot, and ask how can I create harmony and love in my own life. I’m just going to draw a card just to see, let’s see what happens. Wow, interesting, Five of Pentacles. So how can create harmony and love in my own life? You know, maybe this is about helping other people who are in need, and as I help others, then I’m starting to help myself to feel gratitude for my abundance. You know, works in a kind of a funny way. 

When we help people who are going through a rough time, sometimes it can actually make us feel better about where we are in our own lives. Yeah, that’s an interesting insight. The other question you can ask is how can I be my best self in order to attract harmonious relationships? Let’s see what we get. How can I be my best self? Four of Pentacles Reversed. Well, this is actually a good card to partner up with the Five of Pentacles, because again, this is about helping other people and letting go of, and perhaps having to have things just for myself, but maybe sharing that wealth and abundance with others. 

In doing so, that will help me to attract more harmonious relationships into my life. Why don’t you try it too? Grab your Tarot cards and ask how can I create harmony and love in my own life? How can I be my best self in order to attract harmonious relationships. So the best place to start is with you. Let’s step into the second way of using the Tarot for harmonious relationships. That is to release and let go. Now, if you’ve ever experienced hurt or pain in your relationship, it is so essential that you find a way to release and let go of that hurt and pain, so that the relationship can grow in a more positive and constructive direction. 

2. Welcome New Relationships into Your Life

The first step is to understand what is blocking the relationship. You can use your Tarot cards to find this out, or to help you dive deeper into what might be already known blockages. Let’s say if I was in a relationship and I was trying to think intuitively. I want to connect intuitively, what do I think is not quite working here. Maybe I think intuitively it’s something around communication. Well, let me ask my cards. How can I communicate more effectively? 

How can I release this sort of blockage around communication? I draw the Queen of Pentacles. Lots of pentacles coming up here! Maybe there’s something about as a female in this relationship, how am I contributing financially, and also at the home? How is that affecting our communication perhaps? What are our conversations about? Particularly when we talk about looking after the home and working at the same time? That’s another interesting hypothetical card. 

Alternatively, you might be like, I know there’s something wrong here, something is blocking the relationship, I have got no idea what it is. In which case, turn to the Tarot, pick a card, goodness me, I’ve got the Knight of Pentacles here. The Tarot wants a message, it certainly is right now. The Knight of Pentacles, because the knight precedes the queen. It’s actually a very similar message. In this case, it’s kind of confirming that maybe my intuition is on the right track, but also it’s giving me some more information. 

Maybe some of the blockages are around our everyday life together, or our everyday routines. Maybe they’re starting to become a little bit more stifled or boring or just getting stuck in the day to day grind. Once you know what those blockages are, the next step is to release and let go those blockages. So ask your cards, how can I best release and let go? Let’s see, I’m just trying to do a summary one for those two cards. How can I release and let go of these blockages, temperance? 

Temperance for me is a lot about balance integration, moderation and patience. But in a particular relationship, it might be ensuring that there’s balance in our every routines, and also balance in how we contribute to the family and acknowledgement that contribution to a family might be in different ways. Use that card to think about how can I move through those blockages and release and let go of them? Now, you might also have something that’s a little bit more deep-seated, and something that you’re feeling quite wound up about. 

If that’s the case, then I highly recommend my release and let go Tarot spread, which I’ll add to the show notes. This is a great spread for dealing with those times when you’ve got a situation where you just cannot like move out of that place of feeling like uh, this is not working. You’re quite emotional. Maybe you’re losing a bit of sleep. You’re worrying about things, then this release and let go spread can be incredibly helpful. Check back to the show notes, which you’ll find over at biddyTarot.com/22, that’s 22.  

3. Respect Each Other’s Needs

If there is a little bit of tension in a relationship, often times it’s because we’re not really hearing each other out, or we’re not acknowledging what each person needs in the relationship. We’re more absorbed in what we need and want, and forgetting that there’s actually two people in a relationship, or more sometimes. We each have different needs and expectations, whether it’s a romance, it’s a friendship, or even a professional relationship with a colleague. 

What’s important is that you take time to understand what each person truly needs, so that you can then respect and honor that need. That includes your own needs as well. When you’re not consciously aware of what you need and expect from your partner, it can lead to disappointment and tension, especially if your needs aren’t being met as well. Let’s ask the Tarot. One is what needs do I want to be met in the relationship? The second one is how can I meet the needs of my friend, partner, or whoever it is that you’re asking about.  

Let’s see, what needs do I need to have met? Seven of ones, so maybe I just want acknowledgement that I’m doing my best to like serve the family or something like that, that I’m dealing with struggles and challenges just like my partner is. That might be something that is a need that I need to have met. In the light of that, I would then be thinking, well, how can I constructively communicate that need to my partner so that my partner could respect and honor that need? They don’t necessarily have to buy into it, or agree to it. You know, you can’t change what someone else does or thinks, but you can start to communicate. 

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I’m having a hard time here too, and I need to your support as well. Maybe that just helps bridge the gap a little bit. The second card then would be how can I meet the needs of my partner, and I’ve got the justice card. Again, I’m drawn to the scales in this card. Particularly as we had the temperance card before, and this is about equality and balance and things needing to be fair. Perhaps my partner wants to be saying things happening in a fair way. We might, maybe a good plan would be to sit down together and draft up. Okay, that these daily responsibilities, who is doing what and is this a fair distribution of daily responsibilities.  

You can see like we’re already starting to open up some really constructive pathways to help create a more harmonious relationship. All through the Tarot cards, what I really like about this is that it’s not about a direct conversation going, you do this, you don’t do that, I didn’t like this, I didn’t like that. You’re actually having a conversation through a third thing, which is like these cards with pictures on it. You can be talking about the pictures instead of directing it to your partner.  

It actually helps to diffuse some of that energy between the two people, and it directs that energy into the cards. You can talk a bit more about what you’re seeing in the cards, and then how that’s impacting you. I think it’s actually a really nice way of having a meaningful conversation without it getting too direct and challenging, or even threatening with one another. A little bit like having a counselor present, but instead you’ve got your Tarot cards.  

Now, that you know what needs that you want to have met, and how you can meet the needs of your partner, you may also want to understand what agreements you need to make together to create a more harmonious relationship. You can ask the Tarot, what agreements do we need to make, either personally or as a partnership for this relationship to work. Let’s see, what agreements do we need to make together? Three of Swords. Well, something I see in this card is about not taking things to heart.  

Particularly in a long term relationship, you do become very comfortable with one another. You may become less conscious of how you say things and what you say. But sometimes we forget that when we’re now sort of full comfortable selves, we might be saying things that hurt the other person. The agreement here might be like one, be careful with your words. And be kind and compassionate with the way that we communicate together. But two, is also to give the benefit of the doubt. Let’s see if this is a long term relationship, you’re in that relationship for a while for a reason, and it’s because you love each other or you respect each other. 

Just because you make one little mistake with saying something that could be hurtful, it doesn’t mean that the whole relationship is doomed. It’s sort of giving each other a bit more of a benefit of the doubt. That might be the agreement that you reach together. Again, you can both be looking at this card and saying, well, what do you see in this card? What do I see? And they don’t have to be a Tarot reader to benefit, just look at the image, the picture in the card, and say what does this represent to you, and what does this, what thoughts does it trigger within you about the agreements that we need to make as a partnership? 

4. Work on the Relationship Together

For a relationship to truly be in flow, both parties need to be prepared to work on the relationship together. One person simply can’t be doing all the work, while the other one slacks off. So, ask the Tarot, what is the most important thing that we need to work on to create a harmonious relationship? Let’s consult the cards, what do we need to work on. Three of Pentacles, well, we just simply need to work together. We’re a team here.  

You often see like this man, I’ve experienced it, I know like my friends who are married with children who’ve also experienced it. There are some days that are just like not good days, and maybe kids have just been screaming for like the last hour having a tantrum, whatever it might be. Now, you can choose to go the whole world is against is me and I’m against them, and just go crazy at everybody that comes into your path. Or you can team up with your partner and go holy molly, this is a bad day, isn’t it? And just have a laugh together. You can either take out that frustration on your partner, or you could say, no, we’re part of a team here, let’s just get on with it. 

That’s what I see in the Three of Pentacles. Ask the Tarot for your relationship, what do you need to work on to create a harmonious relationship? And you might also want to look at what you can do individually to create positive change for the relationship.

5. Communicate Openly

I want to share with you a quote from Anthony Robbins, and it is this, “The way we communicate with others and with ourselves ultimately determines the quality of our lives.” I couldn’t agree more. Communication is the key to a harmonious relationship. Communication between people needs to be honest, authentic, open and compassionate, and without it relationships break down and people drift apart. 

Ask the Tarot, how can we create open communication with one another? Let’s see, how can create open communication? The Strength card. One part of this is I’m looking at the Lion and the Fair Maiden and these can often link to like those raw, instinctual moments and trying to come calm some of that rawness. It comes back to that Three of Swords. Sometimes when we’re completely comfortable with our partner, we can let loose a little bit, and maybe let loose a little bit too much, and end up saying things that we regret, and not really softening the way that we connect with each other.  

The Strength card here might be saying, it’s important to speak your truth but do so in a way that is kind and compassionate, and that respects and honours the other person, rather than completely lashing out and just being super raw, because that might end up with hurt feelings. You might also want to ask the Tarot, what needs to be discussed right now, or what’s sort of the elephant in the room? Is there a particular topic that needs your attention right now. Let’s do this hypothetically, Five of Wands Reversed. Well, okay, so the Five of Wands is often about conflict and disagreement. 

With a reversal of it, I see that a private conflict. In fact, this might be a sign to say there might be some points of difference between you and your partner, but it’s not the appropriate time right now to bring that out. I think it’s better at this point to be focusing on strengthening the relationship, and focusing on moving forward and creating constructive connection, and not worrying about small conflicts and so on. That’s sort of another interesting message, I keep saying that, it’s all very interesting, ’cause it’s the Tarot, and Tarot is always so interesting.  

6. Focus on the Blessings

All relationships have bumps along the way. You can get caught up on what someone did or said years ago, or you can simply focus on the blessings that you both share right now, here in the present moment. Simply ask the Tarot, “What blessings are available to us in this relationship?” It’s kind of like what’s working. Page of Wands Reversed. Let’s see. The Page of Wands Upright is often about exploration and adventure. In the reversal, it’s almost more like a personal exploration and adventure. Maybe this is about yeah, actually this feels good.  

This might be about honouring and respecting each other’s personal journey, and giving each other the space to go off and do fun things, but not necessarily as a couple. If I think to say my relationship, in my marriage, both my partner and I, we go on all sorts of like little adventures on our own. I’ve traveled overseas just on my own, while he’s stayed home with the kids, and vice versa. He’s gone off on trips as well. Whilst it is hard work being the person at home, the single parent for a little while, we both really respect and honour that importance of being able to go out on your own, and being able to experience things on your own. That’s what gives us our own sense of self and individuality. That yes, that’s definitely a blessing within our relationship.  

7. Give and Receive Love

Love is at the heart of all harmonious relationships. No matter the nature of the relationship itself. The Tarot can help you understand how you can give and receive love in a way that’s compassionate and heart centered. So simply ask the cards, how can I give love and how can I receive love? Let’s see, how can I give love? Ace of Wands Reversed. I can give love by being internally inspired by things. So if I keep myself in an inspired place, where I’m discovering new things, then I can give love. 

It’s kind of like I’ve got to focus on my own energy in order to be able to then transfer that energy to others. It’s interesting. Then how can I receive love? Well, I drew the Eight of Pentacles Reversed. Maybe this is about not focusing too much on the details and thinking more about the bigger picture. Maybe not criticising my partner for like, oh, you gave me red flowers when I really wanted like pink flowers. Of course, I don’t do that, trust me. But there might be some other things, where your partner is expressing love to you. Are you becoming overly critical or are you just being accepting that, you know what, this is an expression of love. 

Even if the details aren’t a hundred percent right, that’s okay. It’s the expression of love that’s important. If you’re looking to creating more harmonious relationships in your life, with friends, family, partners and colleagues, you know now that you can turn to the Tarot to give you deeper insight on how to do so. Look at how you can bring your best self to the relationship, release blockages, respect each other’s needs, work together, communicate, focus on the blessings, and pour love into the relationship. You can use all of these techniques that I’ve shared with you today, either for your own personal use, in your relationships. 

Even do these readings with your partner as I spoke about before, because I think you get some really interesting conversations going together, with again just the imagery that’s in the cards. That’s what helps you start those conversations, in a sort of non-threatening way. You can also use these techniques in your client readings, and the readings that you’re doing for other people. Start to draw out some of the questions in your relationship offers that you have for your Tarot readings. 

So, there you have it. I hope you enjoyed that particular episode from our Biddy Tarot Podcast Archives. Remember, if you love listening to our podcast, please go to iTunes, subscribe and also leave a rating and review. It will be so, so appreciated. Remember, you can order the book or pre-order the book Everyday Tarot at everydaytarot.com. This book is going to be awesome. I can’t wait to be able to share it with you. Of course, there is also a Tarot deck that goes along with the book, I think you’re just going to love it! 

Finally, next week, I have a really special guest. She is the founder of the Crystal Healer Academy, and she is none other than Hibiscus Moon. I think you’re really going to enjoy this conversation. We’re talking about all about crystals. How could a Tarot reader not have a few crystals. Hibiscus Moon will be sharing in more details about how we can use crystals in our everyday life. I hope you enjoy it and I look forward to sharing that interview with you very soon. All right, bye for now.  

Integrate Tarot Into Your Everyday Life

Are you looking for more ways that you can use Tarot to improve your relationships – both with yourself and others? I’ve got something that can help. My upcoming book Everyday Tarot – will help you discover how to use the Tarot to manifest your wildest dreams, create love-fueled relationships, and make important decisions.

You can pre-order your copy of Everyday Tarot and the corresponding Everyday Tarot Deck now at everydaytarot.com

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ABOUT Brigit

Brigit Esselmont is the author of the #1 Amazon best-selling books the Ultimate Guide to Tarot Card Meanings and the Biddy Tarot Planner, and the brand new book and Tarot deck, Everyday Tarot. A professional Tarot reader for more than 20 years, Brigit founded Biddy Tarot in 1999, where each year more than 4.5 million people (like you!) are inspired to live more mindful and enlightened lives, using the Tarot as a guide.

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