Difficult conversations are a natural part of everyday life. We all have times in our lives where we need to be able to communicate how we feel about something, even if the other person’s views are different to ours. Everybody deserves to feel seen and heard — but in the heat of the moment, things do sometimes spiral out of control!
In these situations, it's especially important to slow down, take a breath, and proceed with mindful, effective communication techniques. To help you put these techniques into practice, I've created a special Tarot spread for effective communication below.
Tarot can help us explore the principles of effective communication in a beautifully integrated way. I created this brand-new Effective Communication Tarot Spread with card positions that reflect each of the five stages of effective communication and conflict resolution. I’ve also included a bonus card, which will allow you to reflect on the lessons learned during the situation and take those lessons with you.
1. What emotion am I feeling right now about this situation?
The first step to effectively communicating how you feel is to take one step back and name the emotion, or emotions, that have surfaced.
2. How might I better connect to where this emotion is physically presenting in my body?
By mindfully naming and intentionally feeling the physical sensations of our emotions, we bring our attention back to the present moment. This helps us to remain present and grounded when communicating with others.
3. How might I effectively communicate this emotion to the other person involved?
The next step is to explain how you're feeling to the other person using “I am” or “I feel” statements. Remember to focus on how you are feeling, rather than on how the other person is “making” you feel.
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4. How can I best honor and hold space for how the other person is feeling right now?
You have every right to your feelings and deserve to have those feelings honored, and so does the other person — even if you don’t understand right away. There are no “wrong” feelings.
5. What action can I take to honor the other person’s boundaries, while respecting my own?
Offer an apology for your part in the conflict (remember — it always takes two to tango) and mutually agree on a path forward. This is the time for each person to clearly state their boundaries, and what they will do to avoid a similar conflict arising in the future.
6. What lesson have I learned from this situation that I can take with me moving forward?
There is something to learn from every conflict or difficult situation you encounter — even if it doesn’t feel that way in the moment. Remember — you are a divine being having a human experience, and so is everyone else. We are all here to learn from each other and do our part in creating a more harmonious world together.
To read more about dealing with tricky situations and finding hope when all hope seems lost, check out my blog post, Everyday Tarot for Trying Times and Difficult Conversations!
If you tried the Effective Communication Spread, I’d love for you to share your insights on Instagram — and don’t forget to tag #biddytarot so I can see.